At the beginning of 2020, I read an article about the most common activities we all do at the beginning of a new year. Examples include: playing sports, losing weight, saving money, learning a new language, among others. None of them mentioned managing emotions.

A new year leads us to reflect on all the new habits we want to incorporate into our lives. I found it curious that the goals we set are focused on doing and seeking different results.

However, we do not think about changing our emotional habits that are fundamental to have a healthier life and change our behavior and thus achieve the results we want. 

Why Managing Emotions Is Important

Talking about emotional habits can be a new concept for you. Maybe because we might believe that these are the product of some event that occurs ( external to us ), leading us to feel one emotion or another depending on the situation.

Thus, emotions would be out of our control, and we would not have the power to change or design them, as if we think we can do with our behaviors.

Culturally, we live in a society that considers emotions to be the enemies of reason. But the truth is that emotions are part of our being. They have an important function in our being in the world. It is impossible to separate ourselves from them.

Therefore, managing emotions is nothing more than making conscious what we feel, putting a name to the emotion, accepting it, and regulating it if necessary.

The Impact of Emotions

Let me clarify what I am saying by using an example. A few years ago, my husband and I decided to go to another country for a year to learn a new language.

When we started with the plan, I was excited but with the illusion of something that we wanted to achieve and for which we should work.

However, a few months later, when our trip was approaching and we had to make decisions such as quitting our jobs and selling some things, I felt scared. I discovered that one of my emotional habits when facing a situation that generates an extreme change in me is fear.

I understood that I needed to accept my emotion, allow myself to feel it, and express it as it came. It was also necessary to explore my judgments and resignify them.

Otherwise, I would not have been able to take the step to travel and enjoy this new adventure.

Try Managing Your Emotions

Having clarified the subject a little more, I want to challenge you readers. Try to include in your resolutions for the coming year to change your emotional habits. From here you can learn to manage your emotions.

I leave you with 4 tips that I hope you will find valuable and apply.

1. Understand that there are no negative emotions

We categorize emotions as positive and negative according to the body sensation that each one of them makes us feel. For example, we label fear as a “negative” emotion; however, this emotion responds to threatening situations and helps us protect ourselves.

2. Allowing oneself to feel

Given the above concept of categorizing emotions as positive and negative, there are emotions that we do not allow ourselves to feel. Alternatively, although we feel them, we do not express them.

Because, culturally, “it is not correct.” Repressing what we feel is not the right way to manage emotions. On the contrary, the invitation is to accept them and legitimize them.

3. Observe yourself while managing emotions

Every day dedicate at least 10 minutes to reflect on the emotion you are feeling. Ask yourself: What do I feel? How do I feel?

The more precise you identify the emotion, the easier you will understand this emotion and what actions you can take with this emotion.

If you analyze it, you will realize that many of our behaviors are automatic, and they are reactions tied to our emotional habits.

4. Judge your interpretations

Emotions arise from the interpretations you make of situations. These, in turn, are accompanied by private conversations with which you reinforce your interpretation.

The challenge in this step is to observe your thoughts and judge them. This will lead you to change the way you observe the situation, interpret it differently, and change the emotion that accompanies it.

Contact us to learn more about managing your emotions.